


don't hold me.

by funkylilwriter



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Porn, Awkward Tension, Confrontations, Cuddlefucking, Drunk Sex, Hook-Up, Intoxication, Loneliness, M/M, One Night Stands, Porn With Plot, Smut, Stranger Sex, hints of emotional instability and loneliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-19 18:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19137820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkylilwriter/pseuds/funkylilwriter
Summary: He can see the man smiling. It’s a big, toothy grin that makes his eyes disappear entirely. Jiyong notices these things, but he still can’t piece the man’s face together.*Jiyong just wanted to fuck. He didn't ask for this.





	don't hold me.

* * *

  
When he opens his eyes, his head hurts, so he keeps them closed. His head is filled with vibrations of sound, sound that seems so distant.

He doesn’t hear anything but the distant music.

He doesn’t hear the person who is currently sucking on his bottom lip.The person whose face he can’t recall clearly. The person who Jiyong only sees as touch, grabbing and kisses.

He’s an excellent kisser. Not that in his sate it matters too much to Jiyong. But he’s an amazing kisser and Jiyong starts to think that he might actually enjoy this.

He’s strong. This occurs to Jiyong after the guy so easily picks him up, holding him firmly by the thighs, pressing him up against the wall. Jiyong scrambles to cling onto whatever he can get a hold on. Hand grasping at the stranger’s hair, Jiyong melts at how soft it is. A bit sweaty, with the smell of nicotine laced into the curls, but soft nonetheless.

Jiyong grabs a fistful of the fluffy locks and once he’s holding on tightly, he simply unwinds. He feels light and small, but at the same time he feels powerful. Because, although it may seem like has no say in what happens to him, he can tell how much this person is drawn to him, how much he _wants_ him. And this, Jiyong is alright with. In fact, he _loves_ it. He’s always loved attention, but this kind of adoration is something  else.

Jiyong only snaps out of his daze when it stops.

No more kisses, no more thigh squeezes, nothing.

Unwillingly, Jiyong opens his eyes and it’s only to send a dissatisfied glare towards his partner for that night.

He can see the man smiling. It’s a big, toothy grin that makes his eyes disappear entirely. Jiyong notices these things, but he still can’t piece the man’s face together.

He’s handsome, that’s the only thing Jiyong can tell.

He leans in, and speaks into Jiyong’s ear. He nearly needs to yell for Jiyong to hear him.

“I said: we should probably get a room.” His voice sounds watery and quiet, even though he’s shouting.

“Don’t make me wait for too long.” Jiyong has no idea how loudly he spoke. He has no idea if the man heard him or not. But he is being carried away, towards the exit, so he must have gotten the message.

Unfortunately, the man couldn’t carry him the entire way, even though the hotel was nearby. On their way, they held hands, keeping each other from falling over as they staggered along.

They had a conversation while walking. Jiyong doesn’t remember it. By the time they’re in a hotel room, it’s completely gone from his memory.

As soon as the door is closed, Jiyong gets pressed up against it, and the kissing continues, the kind that ignites a spark in his gut, a spark that grows into a flame and spreads through his body incredibly fast.

He gets picked up again and Jiyong takes a wild guess that this guy really likes to manhandle his partners. He doesn’t mind though. At times Jiyong does want to be more in control, but as long as he feels like he has all the attention of a person, as long as he feels like the unchallenged subject of desire, he doesn’t mind being thrown around a little bit.

It’s a stumbly path towards the bed. In the dark, it’s hard to see where they’re stepping, where they’d left their shoes, where the chair is positioned.

Getting Jiyong out of his crop top and the guy out of his jeans is easy enough, however Jiyong’s tight leather pants proves to be a daunting task, and they both end up struggling significantly with each individual button of the guy’s shirt.

It’s all taking so long. Jiyong’s insides are burning, and he just wants to have a dick in him so badly. This hardly ever happens, because Jiyong always gets what he wants, but he’s getting grabby. He’s trying to pull the man down, to get a hold of his hair again.

But the man is distracted. He lets out a little “woah,” with an amazed expression.

“What?” Jiyong mumbles, slowly lifting his gaze to try and figure out what the dude who’s supposed to be fucking him already is staring at.

He doesn’t hesitate a second; he reaches out and runs his fingers along the letters on the side of Jiyong’s ribcage.

“You have so many…”

And before he knows it his hands are all over Jiyong, as if he’s on a quest to touch every single one of Jiyong’s tattoos. Which he wouldn’t mind at all, if he wasn’t so fucking horny.

“Yeah, I-- Hey, can you just fuck me alrerady?”

The man chuckles and Jiyong thinks it might be the most beautiful laugh he’s ever heard.

This guy’s concern for safety is yet another thing postponing the moment Jiyong has been looking forward to the entire night, however it’s not something he can argue against, so he simply gets a pillow between his legs while he waits.

And yeah, Jiyong finds it sweet that the guy cares a lot about whether he’s stretched enough or not, but that’s the thing. He doesn’t have one night stands to get a dose of sweetness. He does it for the same reason as everyone else: to get dick.

So he quickly reassures the guy that he’s fine and finally, _finally_ he gets to be fucked.

And it hurts, but Jiyong doesn’t have it in him to care. In fact he’s not even sure that he dislikes it that much.

He doesn’t hold back for a second, he doesn’t care about whoever might be in the room nextdoor, trying to sleep.

But the odd thing is that Jiyong doesn’t end up being that loud. Being loud is kind of his thing you see, and the fact that he isn’t screaming right now is an indicator that something is wrong.

He hears his own voice as someone else’s, and he hears himself moaning softly, with quiet, heavy breaths in-between.

And then it hits him.

It’s the way he’s being held. It’s the way he’s being kissed and touched with an unnatural amount of gentleness.

This is odd, this is alarming, because Jiyong is used to being pounded into the mattress as the person chases their own high, not giving a damn about Jiyong’s pleasure. And that’s alright, because the lack of care is mutual every time.

This? This is just weird. It’s too soft. Soft like this guy’s hair, like his cheeks and his smile, like his laughter.

This is entirely foreign to Jiyong. He would speak out against it, if he was just a bit more coherent, if he wasn’t slow and pliant, if he hadn’t already been lulled into the alien tenderness.

Jiyong has no idea how or when it happens, but at some point he notices a little stain on the pillow he’s been hugging, right there, under his eye.

And in the weirdest moment of that night, the guy stops. He stops everything he’s doing and wraps his arms around Jiyong.

“Something wrong?” He asks. And he sounds so concerned and gentle that it nearly makes Jiyong angry.

“Don’t stop,” he hisses.

“But--”

_“Don’t fucking stop.”_

The guy holds Jiyong a second longer and gives him a kiss on the forehead before he continues.

Jiyong buries his entire face into the pillow. He really thought it would be fun, but this just might be the worst one night stand he’s ever had.

He just wanted to fuck. He just wanted that dopamine shot.

Instead he gets to feel… cared for. Loved, even. And it’s absolute bullshit because he knows it’s only for that night. He really didn’t want to be reminded of how lonely he is.

He needs to take matters into his own hands.

“Wait,” he commands, and although it confuses him, the guy does stop. Jiyong wiggles himself from under him, turns around kind of stumbles into his chest, trying to push him back onto the bed.

Seeing as Jiyong’s pushes are extremely weak, the guy has to get the hint and lay down. Jiyong climbs onto his lap, and the guy finally starts to understand what Jiyong is trying to do. He helps Jiyong settle onto his dick, holding him by the hips.

There he goes again, trying to be soft, trying to get his arms around Jiyong. He doesn’t let this happen. He pushes the guy away and keeps nudging him until he lays back against the pillows. Hands on Jiyong’s thighs, the guy is a little confused.

“Don’t hug me again, I swear to god I’m gonna lose it if you do.”

The man nods absently. He doesn’t respond, Jiyong doesn’t give him the time to. He starts moving his hips, and he’s already relieved.

It’s feels so much better. Not that the guy was bad at what he did, not at all. It’s just that Jiyong couldn’t get behind the whole act. He prefers this, it’s a lot more like the emotionless sex he’s used to.

He prefers being touched with pure lust. This isn’t something he can convey to his current partner, it doesn’t seem like something that can be changed. Even now, the way he’s squishing Jiyong’s thighs feels too soft, but there’s nothing he can do about it.

At least he’s finally getting what he wanted.

He loves the way he’s being watched. He loves how amazed the guy is, the little ‘o’ shape of his lips, that slowly melts into a dazed smile. He can’t seem to take his eyes off of Jiyong, the curling of his body, the rolling of his hips. It makes Jiyong smile. He leans back on his hands, throws his head back and lets himself enjoy his own impact.

He doesn’t expect to be pulled into a kiss, but he doesn’t mind as much because his guy seems to have lost control just a little bit, no longer careful and tender. This kiss leaves Jiyong’s lips swollen and fingerprints on his thighs.

It’s good. He likes the fact that he can just keep going however long he wants, but his guy seems to be losing it entirely. He’s breathing heavily and trying to buck his hips, to get more than Jiyong is giving him. It’s amusing, kind of cute even.

Holding onto the man’s shoulders for balance, Jiyong decides to get a bit more intense, a bit more bouncy in order to give him what he wants. And he doesn’t end up lasting too long after that.

Jiyong is once again left to rock his hips into a pillow while he waits for his temporary partner to sort out the condom.

When he’s back, he stops to watch Jiyong try to get off, licking his lips. “Need some help?”

“Fuck off.”

The man laughs and Jiyong gets a weird, unfamiliar, fluttering feeling in his chest. He wants it to stop.

The man climbs on the bed and reaches for Jiyong. He once again does that thing where he just completely engulfs Jiyong into an embrace, from behind this time, kissing down his neck and shoulder.

And Jiyong wants it to stop. He whines, starts to try and wiggle himself out of that situation. The man just holds him tighter and rests his head on Jiyong’s shoulder blade.

“C’mon, let me do my thing. Try to relax and if you don’t like it that much, I’ll stop.”

Jiyong sniffles. He doesn’t want to try because he has a feeling that he won’t dislike it at all.

The guy reaches between Jiyong’s thighs to get the pillow out of the way.

Jiyong can’t say he’s ever been jerked off while being held. He’s not sure how to feel about it. Because it feels _good_ , but this way of doing things makes him feel so much more vulnerable.

That night leaves Jiyong with many mixed feelings. Not only does his one night stand help him get off, he also helps him clean up and puts him to bed. Jiyong falls asleep in his arms.

 

The morning after is worse.

It’s happened before, you hook up with someone you think is attractive, only to realize in the morning that they were attractive only in the dark and after fifteen shots. We’ve all been there.

Truth is you never know what you’re going to wake up to.

What Jiyong wakes up to is, if he dares be dramatic, an angel.

It might just be the fact that he’s asleep. People look more vulnerable and innocent when sleeping.

But he _is_ gorgeous. With long lashes, his sharp jawline despite his soft cheeks, the messy, fluffy locks, and his lips…

It crosses Jiyong’s mind that those lips were all over him the night before and the thought makes him bashful.

Now that, that’s a sign that he should get the fuck out. Getting shy? Jiyong doesn’t get shy.

He rolls out of bed and tries to balance between getting dressed quickly and quietly, because the last thing he wants is for his now ex partner to wake up. He doesn’t think he would handle that confrontation.

Much like the last night, getting into the leather pants is a lengthy and difficult task, but he pushes through it as quickly as possible, while making as little noise as possible. Then after putting his crop top on all that’s left is to grab his shoes and disappear.

Except that Jiyong walks in on the guy fully awake, zipping his pants up.

Jiyong stops in his tracks, all blood freezing in his veins.

The man smiles. “Hey.”

Jiyong responds with a nod. He starts to look for his shoes.

“Not even staying for a coffee?”

Jiyong sits on the ground to pull his boots on. “I gotta go.”

“Busy guy…”

Standing back up, Jiyong makes the mistake of looking the guy’s way. He’s leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets and a faint smile on his lips, dimples on display.

“Either way,” the man says, straightening up. “It was nice meeting you.”

If you can even say they met. It was kind of a straight-to-making-out situation. Jiyong still doesn’t know his name.

“I had fun,” he says.

Jiyong nearly snaps. He nearly tells the guy off for his completely scandalous and incorrect approach to one night stands, for messing with his head, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want this goodbye to last any longer than it must.

“Sure. Well, goodbye.”

“See you around.”

Jiyong stops at the door. He glances back at the man who he is already trying to erase from his memory. “You won’t.”

He walks out the door.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter @alexshldshutup


End file.
